10 May 2008
gd frens r hard to come by... all de np cadets hav gd character n a kind heart.. tis hav been wad i've been tinking all de while... dey do de best for others n oways place their fellow squadmates n cadets in the 1st place... i'm v proud to be part of de np family espeicially cchy npcc... ytd jian booon sir say in de 1e classroom tat i shld hav failed miie 3rd class drill n wld nt be promoted, but he pass me cos i try n try n try alt i knw tat i cant do it... at tat tym i luk at jian boon sir n felt lyk crying.. it is tears of happiness cos at tat v min i knew tat i did nt choose de wrong cca.. npcc is de BEST!!! cos of de instructors cadets n CIs... tat make it so. de instructors were frank with de cadets..dey truely care for de cadets frm de bottom of their hearts n dey deserve praise!! so i must nt giv up easily n must persevere... dun let de seniors n sirs down... dey giv us 1oo% n we shld giv dem de best!!
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2:09 PM
huiyi..xp
over de exam period, i've thought thrh several tings.. tere r 2 main tings tat i've thought thrh it seriouslyn i've came 2 a conclusion.. 1st, i've made up my mind 2 focus on 4 main tings tis yr.. Tis tings will b my aim n goal n i'll try my best 2 do it although i knw tat i cant do it overnite.. 1. study hard, dun b lazy n must be organised, hand up hw on tym n get gd results. must get in 2 at least 3g next yr. 2. must be in gd terms with frens classmate senior n junior, dun quarrel. 3, must do de best in np, master all de ting being taught tere n dun pon np. 4. must do up de best performance in tis yr pop 4 de sec4 seniors. dey help us alot n we must giv de best 2 dem!!
de 2nd issue is abt my character n attitude prob. i'll try my best 2 tok less tings abt bgr n i wont fancy aniguys cos @ least age studies n cca is de most ipt. i'll oso try my best 2 be less talkative, bossy, demanding, straightforward, competitive. i'll nt be jealous of my fren, say aniting abt dem behind their back, n tink abt bein de si in np when i'm sec 4, i'll let nature take it course, wad is mine is mine. wad belongs 2 others, will nv be mine. tere's nothing 2 compete abt. n si is just a name. de most impt ting is tat we remain in np as a united squad. do de best n hav commitment 2 de unit. fren is much more impt den just a name or rank. i'll oso try 2 be more honest, patient, tolerent and satisfied of wad i now hav. lastly, i would lyk 2 thx n apologise 2 all my fren classmate junior n senior cos u all hav put up wit all de nonsense n attitude tat i've given u all thrh out tis 2 yr especially my classmate n squad mates. u all hav given me alot of guidance during tis 2 yr. sometym i even hate some of u cos of de comment u hav made abt me. but i knw tat all meant well, n i realise tat i'm such a fool 2 hate ppl who meant me well.. so now i dun hate any1 in de sch except for 1 gal.. wich is cai earn.. i hate her 2 de core cos of some issue, n i doubt aniting can resolv tis prob.. aniway, i would lyk 2 sa tat i'm truly sorry.. pls 4giv me 4 de nonsense i've given u all.. SORRY.. u ppl r de best fren tat i've ever had my classmate squadmates seniors juniors. i wouldn't lyk 2 lose fren n buddies lyk u ppl. if u ppl have ani comment abt me next tym, pls dun say it behind my bak. u can just tell me directly, i promise i wount be angry abt it. CCHY and NP rox!! =)
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1:47 PM
huiyi..xp
02 May 2008
我快受不了了啦!! altough i say tat i'll nt be bloggin aft exam.. but now i'm reali stress out by all de idiotic tings n situation around me.. its driving me crazy..zzzzz.. 1st is late for sch during chi paper den in de end no tym finish n i'll be finish when i fail tat paper!! 2nd. i oso nvr finish miie chi n eng paper 2.. miie paper1 for eng i hav written over 4oo words for both compos!! i'm done for it tis tym round... de worst ting hav yet to come.. i act wan to study math n sci ytd cos it is holiday.. but god is jokin with me n i was having high fever de moment i wokeup ytd.. miie head hurts n i m so tired till i was sleeping on de bed for de whole ENTIRE day..zzzzz... n now i reali dunno wad i'm doing.. its feels tat evyting is getting in miie way n i reali dunno y i hav to giv miieself so much stress.. tere was oso a q. tat hav been troubling me for a long tym since aft sec1 camp last yr.. i feel tat i'm drifting mor n mor away frm miie squadmates n dey all say is miie attitude prob.. i agree with tat, but i just cant find de solution.. when i tok to 1 of miie reliable fren abt wad i'm troubling n all miie q. i've expected a console or a help frm her, but instead tat was nt wad i've receive.. i was rather disappointed n i doubt i will ever approach her again. i reali miss de days i had last yr.. a carefree n happy life in np.. now de happiness turns into countless of tears.. i reali wanted to enjoy miie np life with de whole np unit..cos i lve np n i wouldnt wanna lose it.. i knw tat tis wont be an easy task.. n i did nt pin high hopes on tis almost impossible wish...
有苦说不出的兹味你们了解吗?? i've seems to lose all de tings tat once belongs to me.. now i cant find ani1 tat i can truely speak to.. when i'm hapi i'll have frens to tok to, but when i nid some1 to tok heart to heart, i could find no one. nt a single person... n 4 np, when i try miie best to perform well.. some ppl would nt shuang me or say i copy ppl or act pro.. i reali dunno wad to do.. i reali feel lonely in np n i've oso kept asking miieself 1 ting.. shld i just do wad i tink tat is rite n dun care wad others tink abt me, or shld i keep low-profile n in tis way at least i would nt hav ani conflicts with miie squadmates or de seniors n de juniors... tis q. hav disturb me for several lonely months... sometyms i reali feel lyk crying n even if i cry no1 would care so i would rather cry alone with no 1 knwing or 把眼泪往肚子里吞.. at least in tis way (...) wouldnt say tat i'm acting.. :'( i knw tat i'm nt good in alot of tings... miie footdrill is so lousy, i'm talkative, irritating,bossy, competitive n kept on saying tings abt others tats y u ppl dun lyk me.. i knw de reasons well enough as i knw miieself.. but i couldnt helpit by asking miieself hu i reali am??can i tolerate all tis?? can i just be miieself?? or can i just giveup with wad i hav 2day instead of competing for de tings n be stress up, tired, being criticised n hav a burden tat is weighing mi down?? de road infront seems blur..de world doesnt seems to be rite.. i had troubles with no one to tok to n i dunno hu i can reali trust.. when i tink of all dis probs, all my frens turned into strangers... i reali dunnno wad to do n i've begining to doubt miie abilities n de strenght in me.. miie heart is bleeding with tears but no1knws.. i reali feel lyk collapsing with no pillar or hand to grab on.. i hate dis feeling, but i could do nothing.. when i sms ppl.. i knw tat i'm disturbing them n i oso expected tat dey will nt reply or even if dey reply dey will either scold me or say lame.. so i've cut down on smsing ppl.. now, hu can i rely on?? could i just die n end all tis emotional hurting stuffs.. i dunno i dunno i dunno..zzz. tis reali hurts!! :'(
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3:40 PM
huiyi..xp
